October 18, 2014

Misplaced modifier of the day

The fun thing about this is that it's on-topic. Here's a terrible sentence AP used as the lede for a story today:
ROME — The gay marriage debate arrived within walking distance of the Vatican on Saturday as Rome's mayor registered 16 gay marriages celebrated abroad in open defiance of Italy's government.
So...the marriages were celebrated abroad in open defiance of Italy's government? No. It's just a badly constructed sentence. You've got to watch your modifying clauses, people. I keep tellin' ya that. Here's how it should have been written:
The gay marriage debate arrived within walking distance of the Vatican on Saturday as Rome's mayor, in open defiance of Italy's government, registered 16 gay marriages celebrated abroad.
Note that I simply moved "in open defiance of Italy's government" closer to the word that it modifies (mayor). Yes, it requires you to set it off with commas, and I know this trick may be difficult for those of you who are punctuationally challenged. But it's really not that hard. (Of course, the whole sentence should simply be rewritten. It still stinks. But what can you do? It's AP.)

Luckily for us, the story is on-topic. Here's a bit more about this terrific Italian mayor.
Marino said Saturday was an important day in the fight for equal rights for all and that "the most important right is to say to your companion 'I love you' and to have that be recognized.
Sounds like a smart guy with a good heart. And of course, the biggest bonus is that this happened within shouting distance of the Vatican. Yay!

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