You gotta have a gimmick

Like those who unfurl the sideshow attraction known as the Shroud of Turin, Timmy Dolan knows that you gotta have a gimmick. Get a load of this photo. That's what he was hauling around on Palm Sunday. It looks like a prize from a track meet.

And where did Timmy (and the Shroud gang) learn the most basic rule of sideshows? From this song and movie, of course.