March 24, 2013

Baseball language (and stadium "music")

I wrote a post recently where I asked why they play such dreadful, boring "music" at baseball games. Tunes like the theme from The Addams Family and (dog help us) Green Acres are often included in baseball games. They also play Hava Nagila and that silly child's tune that goes "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands." No tunes anywhere in the universe could be more boring.

After posting the question, I looked up the answer. It was slim pickings on the internet, but I did find a couple of suggestions that these songs are chosen because they make people clap their hands. Duh. Could there possibly be a more boring reason? Oy. And it's true. Each of these songs has a space where the audience is supposed to clap. Are claps really so precious that they're willing to pollute the stadium with sub-par "music"? Hell, yes!

Moving along, I used to publish tons of posts about the language of baseball. If this interests you, click on that tag below and it will bring you to the posts. Interesting stuff. Okay, here's one more.

I've always been unenthusiastic about some of the language the baseball announcers use. Like saying, "He skied it out to right field!" to denote a ball that's hit really high. "Skied" it? That was the best they could do? How about "lofted" it out into right field? Well, never mind.

Here's another one. When a player hits a low ball, the announcers sometimes say, "He golfed it out to left field!" "Golfed"? How about he "putted" it out to left field? Or "clubbed" it out to left field? Golf isn't the right word to use here.

One last thing. I love when baseball announcers state their man-love for a pitcher by saying "I. Like. His. Stuff!" They don't like the catcher's stuff, or a great hitter's stuff. No. This is a comment restricted to pitchers. And obviously, it's a phrase used only for men, by nature of baseball's all-male ranks.

So here's a question. Could this term apply to a woman? Will we ever hear members of Congress saying "I. Love. Pelosi's. Stuff!" I think someone in a position of power should try this out. Okay, that's it for today. Gotta go watch some baseball games.

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